


Is It Fate?

by 1hopelessshipper



Category: Fifth Harmony (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, Family Drama, Fifth Harmony - Freeform, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Musicians, Pop Rock Band Fifth Harmony
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2020-02-10
Packaged: 2020-07-11 13:11:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19928611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1hopelessshipper/pseuds/1hopelessshipper
Summary: After an accident which left her to be a shell of a person she was, Lauren was forced to move across the country to start a new life away from the people she loved. But what she didn't realize was that California had different plans for her. She was reunited with her childhood best friend who forces Lauren to join her band along with her other friends--one of them a stranger Lauren has encountered more times than she could count."You're the girl from...""Everywhere... You're the girl from everywhere! I see you everywhere I go! Are you following me?""Wha? What? Me? Following you? No! No I'm not. It's probably a coincidence. But I'm not following you. I'm not a stalker.""Nobody said anything about a stalker, but now that you brought it up...""I'M NOT!"----------A friendship that started out with banters, which evolved into a crush, ended up being a relationship to envy. A story about Lauren and Camila's journey through broken hearts, friendships, family, college, and life. But how did they get where they are. How did they become as strong as they are? Become as compatible and connected as they are? Was it mere luck? Coincidence? Or was it fate that brought them together?





	1. Move In Day (Part 1)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not used to writing stories, so please bear with me.

**_July 12, 2015: Miami, Florida_ **

_“Hey. Hey. Hey, Lauren Michelle. Where do you think you’re going? Get your ass back here. You are NOT driving us home!” Keana yelled, struggling with her heals as she walked across the lawn towards Lauren. The music from the party was still booming even outside, but Lauren heard her loud and clear, yet she ignored her friend and proceeded to walk away._

_“Keeks, it’s my fucking car... Of course, I’m driving.” Lauren slurred as if that was enough for her best friend to drop it. The brunette was a little far behind Lauren, so Lauren didn’t see the disproving look her friend gave her. Keana watched the other girl stumble her way through the dark trying to get to her car—annoyed that her friend was stubborn enough to think she was capable of driving in her state, Keana rolled her eyes while she made her way towards Lauren who finally made it inside the black convertible, but she was struggling to put her own seatbelt on, so Keana rushed to her side and stopped her friend’s feeble attempt at putting on a seatbelt._

_“Right… First of all, it’s your dad’s. Second, you’re drunk off your ass right now. So, NO. I’m driving.”_

_“Buuuut…” Lauren looked up at her like a child who was just reprimanded, and Keana couldn’t be prouder._

_“OUT!”_

_Lauren was no longer able to protest because her best friend was already dragging her out of the driver’s seat, giving her no choice in the matter as Keana walked Lauren to the passenger side. Taking no chances on letting the girl do her own seatbelt—Keana made sure that the green-eyed girl was secured in her seat. Lauren looked at her friend dumbfoundedly as she leaned across to buckle her up. Lauren thought the older girl was overreacting—she was treating Lauren like a child, and Lauren wasn’t having it. She huffed her annoyance, crossed her arms and had a pout on her face by the time Keana made it back inside the car. Lauren looked to her side and became more irritated that her friend didn’t even notice her annoyed state, so she grunted her annoyance even louder to make sure Keana would hear this time. A smile formed on Keana’s face as she glanced to her drunk friend. “Something in your throat there, Lo?” Lauren glared at her and her pout got bigger, and it only made Keana laugh—in her head, the Cuban girl thought she was being intimidating, but in reality, she was as intimidating as a bunny or a new born baby—either way, Keana just wanted to laugh, but she knew that doing that would only make her friend angrier. But it took a lot to stop herself from doing so Keana just pulled out of the curb, but Lauren just couldn’t seem to let it go._

_“I’m not a baby, Keana. I can buckle my own seatbelt.”_

_“You sure? Cause it sure didn’t look like it earlier…”_

_“Shut up! I… I so can… It was just dark. Plus… the buckle on that side is faulty… This car is old-ish…”_

_“No, it’s not."_ _  
_

_“Yeah, it is. I only use it cause… wind…”_

_“‘cause… wind’? really?”_

_“Yeah, you know when you take off the roof and stuff.”_

_“Yeah, I know, Lauren. I understand the concept of a convertible. I just didn’t realize that you’re so fond of them… ‘cause… wind…’”_

_“You’re mocking me. It’s rude.”_

_“Aww, Lolo. I’m sorry. I’ll stop… So, is that it then?”_

_“N… no… There’s more… just… just let me buckle my own seatbelt okay!”_

_“Okay, Lo.” Keana couldn’t suppress her laugh. Lauren really was being childish._

_“Don’t laugh at me!”_

_“I’m sorry, but you’re so drunk right now it’s hilarious and adorable. That whole pout and shit you got going on just proves my point… Plus, I don’t trust you with your own seatbelt. So, suck it up! Sit back and let me get you home.”_

_“Fine mom! But don’t act all high and mighty. You’re not that sober either Keana Marie.”_

_“Actually. I am. I had a lot less to drink than you. Like a lot less. I’m just tired. So, I’m glad we get to go home. And sooo fucking glad this party isn’t that far away from your house. I can’t wait to jump on your fluffy bed and go to sleep. I’m so fucking tired, Lo. Like so tired. And hungry. So maybe raid your fridge then bed. Ahhh. Yes!”_

_“Yeah, about that. Can you maybe make a detour down at Woodlake Bridge?”_

_Keana side glanced her friend. “Detour? Lauren… What part of I’m tired don’t you understand?”_

_“I know Keeks. It’s just… the night is really pretty, and the cliff near Woodlake Bridge has a beautiful view at night. Plus, I kinda want to drive around just a bit. And I know for sure the breeze will sober me up. I mean you said it yourself. I’m drunk off my ass. So… Please?”_

_“Fine! But that is some far ass detour you’re asking for, Lauren Michelle, so if you fall asleep, I’m turning the fuck around!”_

_“Yay! Thank you!” Lauren leaned over to hug her best friend and plant a kiss on her cheek._

_“Whatever. Let’s take advantage of this car… ‘cause wind!’”_

_“Oh my god shut up!”_

_“Whatever, ‘cause wind’.”_

_They stuck their tongues out at each other and burst into laughter. Keana was still giggling at her own joke, and Lauren still couldn’t wipe the smile off her face. She looked at Keana, and she realized how fortunate she was to have her best friend in her life, and her smile only grew wider._

_“No, but really, thanks, Keana. You’re the best.”_

_Keana turned to her and gave her a knowing smile._

_“And don’t you ever forget it.”_

* * *

_Lauren told Keana to drive to the ‘cliff,’ if it could even be considered that, from there they could see some extent of downtown Miami, and Lauren couldn’t be happier. They were parked facing towards the barely illuminated city, and they enjoyed the beautiful peaceful night. It’s been a long day for both of them, yet somehow, the childhood best friends still had some energy to talk. Lauren was right, the breeze coming from the fresh air did help sober her up a little. They decided that it was best to enjoy the cool Miami air to its full extent with the top down of the black convertible. “It’s one thing to have your windows down, but it’s another to have your ‘roof off.’” Lauren thought earlier when they drove past Woodlake Bridge. To which Keana then responded with, “Why? ‘cause wind?” which then earned her a punch on the arm._

_The two best friends laid in their seats and talking for what seemed like forever completely forgetting about their tiredness, or in Lauren’s case, drunkenness, and they have also disregarded the fact that it was almost 1am. It was easy to forget the concept of time when you’re with someone you care about and you truly enjoy their company, so it almost didn’t matter that they both craved food and sleep so bad. They were just laughing about an experience at the last frat party they went to, and Keana was going on about how they should go to more frat parties for the laughs more than anything when she realized that she was talking to no one._

_“Lauren… Hey, you awake? Lo?”_

_Keana looked at the peaceful green-eye girl sleeping next to her, and she smiled. Her best friend went from a college party girl, to a drunk party girl, to clingy drunk, to childish drunk, to giggly drunk, to profound drunk, to chatty drunk, and now, she was finally asleep. She looked so peacefully angelic. Keana was glad Lauren was finally sleeping. It’s been a long day, and her friend needed to rest. They both did, so she finally drove them home with Lauren sound asleep next to her._

* * *

_“We’re losing her…” said a doctor filled with sadness in his voice._

_“We can’t lose her!” another doctor replied with so much frustration and sadness._

_“We are NOT losing her!” shouted another doctor with much more confidence but not any less frustration and sadness. “Don’t you dare give up on us Lauren. Your family is out there waiting for you. You hold on tight for them. Hold tight for yourself.” she continued._

* * *

**June 27, 2016: Miami, Florida**

_(Lauren’s POV)_

It was the day of my 20th birthday, and I celebrated with a brunch that my mom, sisters and I prepared together. Nothing about the brunch was simple—it was obvious that we prepared way too much food for five people, but that didn’t matter because we were celebrating, and we enjoyed preparing the food together. Plus, it was also the day I was meant to leave—which meant it would be the last meal we would get to share together for a while, so yeah, we went all out.

I finished setting up the table at our deck, and I was engrossed by our house’s view of the ocean. I walked towards the end of the deck and leaned on the cool metal railing. I stared at the vast blue ocean, listening to the crashing waves, allowing them to take over my thoughts. I basked in the heat of the sun—breathed in the hot, humid, but all too familiar Miami air.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

I looked over my shoulder and saw my older sister Ashley smiling at me. I turned my head back to face the ocean but not before she saw my pensive smile.

“Nothing… I’m just… I’m just gonna miss this.”

“Lauren. You’re not dying.”

I glared at my sister who stood next to me.

“Sorry. Wrong choice of words… But fuck off. Because you’re not! You’re just going to college…”

“Yeah, to a college I don’t want to go to.”

“I know, Lauren, and I wanna say just suck it up, but I know it’s easier said than done. Especially with HIM there. I really wish there was something I could do, L. I want to help you, but I don’t know how.”

“I know, Ash. And I appreciate that, but you’ve done enough for me already. You. Lena. Taylor. Mom. Aunt Amy. You’ve all been there for me and I can’t thank you enough. I guess I just have to do this one on my own.”

Ashley sighed and hugged me.

“I wish you didn’t, L.”

I leaned against my adopted sister’s head, and that gave me a sense of comfort.

“I know. Me too.”

We stood there in silence appreciating the ocean in front of us until eventually our youngest sister Taylor told us it was time to eat.

Eating with my family turned my sad mood into a great one. Being with them allowed me to forget—even for a little bit—the inevitable. The stories. The teasing. The smiles. The laughs. They allowed me to forget, but they also broke my heart because they reminded me of the things I was going to miss the most about leaving Miami.

It wasn’t like that was the first time I was leaving the state for college. I spent my freshman year at Yale in Connecticut not so long ago, still far, but the difference was Connecticut is in the same coast as Florida. I didn’t have to worry about the time difference—even if it’s just 3 hours. I wouldn’t have to fly across the county to be with my family. And most of all, I didn’t have to worry about seeing my dad—and that’s what angered me the most about this move.

I don’t mean to sound like an ungrateful brat, but it just felt like I was exchanging the life I loved for a life I didn’t want, and I didn’t have a choice in the matter. I was angry. I was frustrated. But what could I do? It was how my life worked at the time. Chaotic and out of control.

But brunch wasn’t the time to think about any of that. Brunch was my chance to truly enjoy my time with my mom and sisters because it would be another long time before we get another chance to be as happy as we were like that moment.

So, I took it in. My mother’s beautiful smile. My eldest sister Lena’s endearing stories. Ashley’s hilarious teasing. Taylor’s infectious laughs. I took it all in—kept it in memory and put it to heart. They were my girls, and I loved them endlessly and that was the proof of that.

* * *

Not long after brunch ended, my family and I headed for the airport. Initially, it was just going to be me and my mom. My sisters knew I didn’t need 4 people to drop me off at the airport, but I guess they also realized they were going to miss me as much as I was going to miss them, so we all squeezed ourselves in our mom’s SUV along with my stuff.

We made it to the airport with some time to spare. I was happy with my day, but then came the goodbyes and I felt like it was bound to be over even if it was only a little after 12 pm.

I checked in some of my extra luggage, and we waited for my plane to start boarding. We talked about everything and nothing as if we were trying to squeeze in every possible conversation we could possibly have in the little time we had left with each other until Lena realized they still have to give me my birthday present.

“Oh. I almost forgot! We got you something. Come on Ash. Where is it?”

“What? I don’t have it. I gave it to Taylor!”

Taylor gave our brunette older sister an incredulous look after she heard her name.

“What? No, you didn’t!”

“Yes, I did. Remember?”

“Uhhh, nooo you didn’t.”

“Uhhh yes, Taylor Madeline Jauregui. I did. I gave it to you when you walked into my room asking for a phone charger.”

“Okay, either you saw a ghost, or you were hallucinating, because NONE of that actually happened.”

Ashley’s brown eyes widened at Taylor’s revelation.

“Well, FUCK!”

Lena was glaring at our sisters—especially at Ashley. She realized she shouldn’t have trusted them with the present, but Ashley insisted.

“Ashley Loraine. I swear to fucking…”

Lena didn’t have the chance to finish her sentence because our mom finally interjected—much to my dismay because I was actually amused by my sisters’ funny exchange.

“Okay, my sweet daughters. Enough with the full names. I have it. I knew someone was bound to forget something somehow, so I did a little house sweep before we left, and as always. I was right.”

And that’s when my mom pulled a carefully wrapped box from her large purse.

“Ohhh. So THAT’S why you’re carrying a huge ass purse. I thought you were just trying to make a fashion statement. Nice save mom.”

At that point, it was my mom’s turn to glare at Ashley, but of course, being us, the Jauregui sisters only laugh. My mom gave me the box, and I gratefully accepted. 

“Thanks mom. Lena. Ash. Tay. You honestly didn’t have to but thank you.”

My mom put her arm around me, and I sunk into my mom’s embrace.

“Of course, sweetie. Anything for you.”

“This is pretty heavy.”

Ashley shrugged.

“Ehhh. Don’t get ahead of yourself. It’s all rocks.”

I shook my head but laughed, nonetheless. We smiled at each other, but there was a hint of sadness in our smiles—sadness that said we were going to miss each other and saying goodbye was difficult. A simple smile could say a lot.

Before any more sadness could get in my head, Lena warned me that I wasn’t allowed to open the box until I was settled. I nodded my head, but my dark-haired green-eyed sister wasn’t satisfied, so she reemphasized her point.

“You can’t open it while you’re in the plane. You can’t open it on the way to school. You can’t open it as soon as you get to your dorm. You have to be fully settled when you open it. Right time. Right place. Is that clear, Lauren Michelle?”

I shook my head and laughed at my eldest sister’s persistence.

“Yes, Lena Margaret. Do not open until settled. Got it!”

“GOOD!”

After a while, it was time to say goodbye. I said goodbye to my sisters. We were all a little emotional—Taylor being the one that couldn’t hold back the tears, Lena a close second, I a close third, and Ashley, well, she couldn’t ruin her badass reputation if she cried, so she did it internally and deflected with sarcasm, but I knew how she really felt. It was hard for all of us to let go.

My sisters left me alone with my mom. She didn’t want to let me go especially under the circumstances, but she knew she had to. This wasn’t just about going to college. It was much more. It was a big deal, and my mom wanted to be there for me, but she knew that this part of my life was out of her control just like everything that happened in the past year.

I was bound for California for move-in-day at Stanford University. I was meant to start my summer semester the next day which didn’t really give me much time to get settled, but I didn’t care because I wanted to spend my birthday with my family. I didn’t care that I’d be exhausted from my flight—I didn’t care that I had class the next day—I had to be with my family—my actual family, not the one that abandoned us.

My mom advised that I call my dad so he could pick me up from the airport, but I insisted that I’d rather take the cab or even walk. It was bad enough that I was forced to go to school across the country where my dad was teaching—I didn’t need to see him as soon as I landed. Stanford is a big school, but with my luck and if he had anything to do with it, I knew I was bound to see him from time to time, so I thought I could at least have some more freedom from him by taking a cab instead of having him pick me up. My mom understood that, but she still hoped that my resentment towards him would eventually be over—she hoped that my feelings towards my dad would soon change because she knew that I needed people by my side at this time of my life—she wished it was her, but she knew she couldn’t be it.

“Are you sure you don’t need me to call your dad?”

“Yes mom. I got it. I’m sure there are plenty of cabs at the airport. I’ll take one of those. I’ll walk if I have to. It’s better than being stuck in a car with him, and I’m sure he’ll take the She-devil or some devil so—”

“Lauren…”

My voice began to raise, and my mom said my name as a plead for me to calm down. My mom knew my anger wasn’t aimed at her. She knew I was starting to get angry at my dad. I was frustrated, but I shouldn’t take it out on her, so I calmed down.

“Seriously mom… Don’t… I’ll be fine. I mean it’s bad enough that I’m going to that school. He’s already getting what he wants…”

I moved closer and hugged my mom.

“…Now, let me get what I want. And that is for you to let me take a cab. Okay?”

“Okay. Just call me as soon as you land and as soon as you get settled.”

I released my mom from the hug and smiled.

“Of course. I’ll update you as much as you want. As long as you don’t cry.”

“I cannot make such promises...”

I raised my eyebrows at my mom waiting for her to change her response.

“… But I will try.”

“Good. I love you mom.”

“I love you too, Little Laurie.”

“Uggh with that name.”

“You love it.”

“No, I don’t. ( _I do)._ Alright now. Bye crazy lady. No funny business while I’m gone. You be good, Doctor.”

My mom laughed, but she knew it was my way of hiding how I really felt. We both knew I shouldn’t really hide my feelings, but at that moment, I didn’t know what I would have done if we both truly showed how we actually felt about the situation.

“Shouldn’t I be the one telling you that, Missy?”

“Riiiight… I think I heard my name. Alright. Gotta go. Bye mom.”

I started walking fast away from her but halted to a stop when I heard her call my name.

“Lauren Michelle Jauregui! You get your butt back here!”

And I did just that, and as soon as I did, my mom enveloped me in the tightest hug I have ever received from her.

“I’m going to miss you, Lauren.”

“I’m going to miss you too, Mom.”

She placed a kiss on my forehead then she wiped the tears on my cheeks. She was sad to see me go especially knowing it’s not what I wanted, but she knew it was best for me—it had to be done. However, knowing something had to be done doesn’t change the fact that it still hurt, so we couldn’t help the tears that stained both our faces.

“Now, off you go sweetie. I’ll see you soon. Don’t cause too much trouble, alright?”

“I’ll try. See you soon, mom.”

“Lauren?”

“I won’t"

I hugged my mom—basking in her presence one last time knowing that it would be a while before I get to see her again, then I turned around to leave.

I love my mom so much, and I couldn’t believe I was actually leaving her.

Again, I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, Stanford is a great school after all, and I’m lucky to have been accepted considering the circumstance, but I have a list of reasons. And on top of that list is my cheating father and his perfect little family.

Seven months ago this was just a preposterous suggestion from my dad; five months ago it became an actual idea; then a month after that I was told I didn’t have much of a choice in the matter—there was no alternative; and so I had to say goodbye to my loving mother to say hi to my new life with my absent father, “step-monster” and their sons, Chris and Liam—my day could not get any better.

I walked towards my gate with tears still streaming down my face. I couldn’t help the feelings I felt nor the tears that I couldn’t stop from falling. I was by myself. None of my sisters were with me like I’ve been used to the last couple of months, so I had no choice but to internalize everything.

_“Toughen up Jauregui. You can’t let life, or your dad win like this. He got what he wanted by getting you to go to that school—don’t let him get to you like this as well—don’t let anyone see you like this. Keep to yourself. Survive this school year. Focus on your music. Stay busy. Do whatever you have to do to keep your shit together. Time will go by fast enough that you won’t even notice shit… At least I hope it will.”_

“Ma’am are you okay?”

I faked a small smile—I thought I should practice being okay now because surely, I’d be doing a lot of that at Stanford.

“Yeah. I’m fine. Just peachy.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Just a little headache. Nothing a good sleep can’t fix. But thanks.”

“Alright. The plane will be leaving soon. We’re just waiting on one more passenger. But if you need anything…”

“Got it. Thanks.” Another fake smile. _“I’m killing this. Two minutes down 3 more years to go.”_ And with that thought, I shut the world out along with everyone else in it with my headphones and music.

* * *

**Lauren Michelle:**

I’m in a cab. On my way to hell. (1:34pm)

Typo… I meant, Stanford.

You see, even my phone knows I’m going to hell. (1:35pm)

**Mother:**

Lauren Michelle! I told you to text me as soon as you landed.

Not when you already got a cab. (1:37pm)

Also. That is very rude. What has Stanford ever done to you? (1:38pm)

**Lauren Michelle:**

It got me here that’s what. (1:40pm)

**Mother:**

Sweetie… (1:45pm)

**Lauren Michelle:**

I know I know. Play nice. I got it. (1:50pm)

**_Mother calling…_ **

I hesitated. My mom was calling and usually I would have answered—I wanted to—I missed my mom, but I didn’t think I could hear her voice without breaking, and I couldn’t let that happen—not when I was close to the lion’s den—not when we were close to Stanford—my new hell, so I ignored my mom’s call, and that broke my heart. I turned up the volume on my headphones… _“keep to yourself… survive… focus…”_ that’s my mantra. A few minutes later, I felt my phone vibrate on my hand and when I checked, I saw my mom left a voicemail. I was about to listen to it when the taxi came to a stop. I looked out the window and saw the giant buildings that made up my new school along with some of the students who were already settled and ready for the new semester to come. I had been so caught up in my “Lauren Bubble” that I didn’t feel the heat coming from my new hell—I was so caught up in my head that I didn’t realize I was already at Stanford University.

“Fuck me.” Apparently, I whispered that loud enough for the cab driver to hear.

“I can tell that you’re not a big fan about coming here. I know how that can be, but I still gotta drop you off but take your time. It’s okay. I understand. It’s on me. I’ll just unload your stuff, okay?”

“Okay. Thank you. I’ll just be a minute.”

I gave him a small smile—not a fake one like the one I gave the flight attendant earlier because I truly appreciated the cab driver’s gesture. I really did need a few more minutes by myself before I fully immersed in the new environment my dad forced me to live in.

I closed my eyes—breathed in and out deeply, and I took in the beat of the music I was listening to with all my might.

_“You’ll be fine Jauregui. Just keep to yourself. Survive the school year. Focus. Keep to yourself. Survive. Focus. Then you get to go back to Miami. Go to New York. Move to LA. Be in between. Whatever! Just keep to yourself. Survive. Focus. Then you get to be free.”_

I opened my eyes and tried to still my pounding heart as best as I could. I wasn’t nervous for my first day like everyone else around me probably was—I was furious, but I had no choice, I was already at Stanford—I couldn’t just go back. Deals were already made, and unfortunately, backing out was not an option.

Carrying my things was a struggle. I walked around looking like a lost puppy. It wasn’t move in day anymore, classes start the next day, students have already settled except for me. There were no usual “first-day welcome to school” tour guides or any sort of welcoming committee. It was just me and my stuff, and I was already exhausted, and I was yet to find Florence Hall.

After what seemed like hours of walking around and a after a helpful guide from a couple of students who most definitely felt bad for me for looking lost, I finally made it to my dorm: Third Floor, room 333. And that was the only thing I liked about my situation—my room. I didn’t have a roommate like everyone else on the floor because I made sure I got a good-size single dorm. I used my “I don’t want to be here, so I need a single room or else” card and got away with it. I don’t exactly know what “or else” meant, and it made me sound and feel like an entitled brat, which I always swore I wasn’t, but I thought under the circumstances, it was acceptable.

I had a luggage filled with my clothes, another luggage filled with half my essentials and more clothes, a duffle bag with more crap, and a backpack. Imagine walking around with all that around campus—yeah, I definitely looked like an idiot, but I couldn’t care less. I was exhausted. We shipped a few things from home two weeks ago, and they were bound to arrive the week I arrived on campus, so I was grateful I didn’t have to do a lot of unpacking yet. Hopefully, my stuff would arrive a lot sooner because I’d definitely want to make my room a lot more home-y than how it looked at the moment

* * *

It was 9:24 pm when I finished organizing the little stuff that I had. I hanged some of my clothes while the others were neatly folded. I didn’t get to all of them, but at least I was halfway done. The two pairs of shoes I had with me were also neatly organized on the corner near my closet. I changed the bed sheets and pillowcases with the ones that my mom bought for me, and I fluffed out the fuzzy blue blanket I brought from home. I also managed to organize my desk area and small bathroom—another thing I was grateful for because I didn’t have to share a bathroom like everyone else—I really got lucky. I was more exhausted than ever, but I felt settled, and that was good enough to make me feel better.

I sat on my newly made bed when I remembered that my mom left me a voicemail. I immediately grabbed my phone from my desk across the room and listen to my mom’s message. I sighed as soon as I heard my mom’s sad voice through the phone.

 **_“_ ** _Hey Lauren… I just wanted to say I love you, and I’m sorry. I know this isn’t what you want, and I wish this wasn’t the situation you were in right now. I really wish I could take it back mija, but…”_

There was a pause, and I heard her release a breath on the other end of the line.

_“… But I just want you to know if you ever need anything I’m always one call away. Your sisters and I are. I will fly to Stanford myself if I have to just so I could be there for you. And I know you know your sisters will too. We all would. You understand? I love you, Lauren. So much. I hope you understand that. And listen. I know this sucks now, but baby, I know you, and I know you’ll make the best of it somehow. Please do. If not, it’ll find a way to turn itself around. You’ll see. I love you. Take care. We’ll see you soon, Lauren.”_

I was so engrossed by my mom’s message that I didn’t realize I had tears streaming down my face, but I immediately wiped them off and listened to the voicemail once again. It has only been a couple of hours since I left, but I already missed my mom and sisters. We’ve always been close with each other, and I knew the way I felt at the time seemed like I was too dependent on them, but after everything that has happened in my life in the last year, I felt vulnerable—I didn’t feel like the same Lauren. I didn’t feel ready to move on, yet here I was across the country away from my family to start a new life without them. I felt like I was being forced to move on. I knew for myself that I had to, but just because I knew it doesn’t mean I was ready—and I knew I was far from ready.

After I listened to my mom’s voicemail for the 3rd time, I gathered myself and decided that I would call my mom. I knew that she deserved better than a text, so I didn’t have to think twice about dialing my mom’s phone number. The only hesitation was the time difference. It was almost 10 pm in California which meant it was almost 1 am in Miami, but I realized that my mom was on-call at the hospital that night, so hoping that my mom wasn’t busy with a patient, I took my chance and called.

I was lucky because she had just finished a 3-hour surgery when I called, so we got to talk for almost an hour until my mom was paged to the emergency room for a consult. I felt lighter after my conversation with my mom—I felt relieved, but my night wasn’t over yet. I knew there was something else I had to do before my birthday ended, and I only had another hour to do it, so I grabbed my leather jacket, my family’s birthday present, and another wooden box. I rushed out of my room and headed for the door the I was looking for.

Two flights of stairs later, I pushed open another and I was out on the rooftop. I was welcomed by a cool summer breeze—the Stanford air I would have to start getting used to. It was completely different from Miami air. It wasn’t humid. It wasn’t home. But it wasn’t unwelcomed either.

I walked further into the rooftop and saw how desolate it looked. It didn’t look like a filthy scary type of abandoned. In fact, it actually looked well-kept and peaceful. It was just the type of abandoned where you knew no one actually bothered to go up there—so I knew it was perfect, and I immediately declared it as my favorite place at Stanford.

The rooftop was massive, and it took me a while to find a rightful place where I would settle. It wasn’t until I made it to the other side of the building when I found the perfect spot. I didn’t see it initially because the rooftop wasn’t exactly clear of blockades, so it took some walking around to find the right place, but when I did, I was very much satisfied.

I sat on the ledge of the building and set my stuff next to me. I did a lot of staring across. I sighed as I enjoyed the view of the moonlit lake in front of me. I was so exhausted that afternoon that I didn’t realize Florence Hall actually had a lake close by. A huge smile formed on my face. It wasn’t the blue ocean I was used to outside our home, but the blue lake was just as breath taking especially seeing it at night illuminated by the light coming from the full moon. I was by myself, so there was no need to whisper.

_“Hey Luna. You’re looking great and bright tonight. And of course, can’t forget about my favorite person. What’s up my little Badass Hero. How’s it going, K?”_


	2. Move In Day (Part 2)

**June 27, 2016: Miami, Florida**

_(Camila’s POV)_

It was only 6 in the morning when I woke up from the loud blaring of my alarm. It wasn’t unusual for me to wake up early, but that day was more upsetting than usual because I was bound to leave Miami for California to go back for my sophomore year at Stanford University.

I was both excited and sad. I loved school and I loved the friends I made back there, but I also loved my family and leaving them always made me sad. That was the second time I did it, but it wasn’t any easier. I didn’t want to think about how sad I was going to be, so that day, I decided to wake up earlier than usual to make my family a big breakfast, so that we can enjoy a big meal together before I left.

I did my morning routine to get my morning started, then I went to my little sister Sofi’s room, woke her up, and asked her to help me because my 8-year-old sister would have been furious if I didn’t wake her to assist me.

It took a couple of waking and a threat of tickling before she got up. I was so happy that she did. It wasn’t like I couldn’t have done it on my own. I just wanted to do it with her because I wanted to spend time with my sister before I left. Being away from her was always the hardest, and I think out of everyone, she was the one I was going to miss the most. I love my little sister.

After she got ready, we went downstairs and started making breakfast. We were careful not to make any noises so that our parents wouldn’t accidentally wake up and catch us. Unfortunately, we weren’t so good at being careful. Sofia and I were basically toddlers who were doing unsupervised kitchen work, so of course, the kitchen was a mess and noises were made.

“Kaki stop, you’re hurting me.” Sofi squealed as I kept tickling her. We laughed with tears coming out of our eyes. We were both a mess. I had flour stuck on my hair and face, as did she. We were in the middle of a tickle fight when our mother walked in the kitchen and saw the mess we made.

“Karla Camila! Sofia Clarisse! What on earth is going on here!”

“SHE STARTED IT!” My sister and I both exclaimed.

We looked at each other and laughed, and our mom couldn’t help but join in as well.

“You two are already causing trouble. And it’s not even 8 am yet.”

“Sorry mami. Sorry if we woke you.” I told my mom.

“Yeah. Sorry mami. Kaki and I were just trying to make breakfast for all of us. For you know… when before she leaves again.” Sofi said sadly.

“I know sweetie.” Our mom replied just as sad.

There was a moment of silence before my mom offered to help us cook. She wasn’t upset about the mess Sofi and I made. I know deep inside she was because she has a thing for being neat, but if she really minded, she kept it to herself. That time we just spent the morning making breakfast together ignoring the mess around us—ignoring the inevitable idea of me leaving later in the afternoon.

Eventually my dad joined us for breakfast. It was a morning well spent with my family. We ended up going to the beach after breakfast, and we all had a great time. Unfortunately, our day had to be cut short because I had to be at the airport for my flight.

Our drive to the airport was still filled with conversations except none of them were coming from my little sister Sofi. She clung to me for her dear life, and that broke my heart. I never wanted to make my sister feel anything less but happy, yet I was causing her pain. She understood why I had to go back to Stanford, and she was proud of me for it, but it still hurt her that I was leaving. I was hurting for my sister, but we both know I had to go.

We got to the airport with very little time to spare, so I had to run to get my luggage checked in. I didn’t have much time to spend with my family because my flight was already boarding. As soon as we heard my number being called Sofi started sobbing. My mom let out a few tears herself, as did I. If I wanted to board on time, I should have left, but I couldn’t just leave my sister crying the way she was, so I held on to her longer.

“Hey, what did I say about crying, Sof?”

“That I shouldn’t do it because you’re not gonna be gone for long.”

“And?”

“That you’re always one call away.”

“Good. So, let’s wipe those tears away alright?”

My little sister nodded as I wiped the tears from her face. I hugged her as tight as I could hoping that it would be enough until we next see each other. I was a hypocrite though—I was telling her not to cry as I cried myself. But I still tried my best not to because I had to be strong. It’s my second year in college, I should be more than capable of leaving my family without crying—except I wasn’t.

“And you mom? No crying, please. If you cry, I’m gonna cry harder, and we don’t want that alright. Come on.”

“Okay mija. Just you be careful okay?”

“Yes, mami. I will.”

After one last hug from my family, I left running for the gate bound for San Francisco, California.

* * *

I should have been used to this—the goodbyes—the airport, but I wasn’t. It’s still the same scene every time I try to leave—everyone a crying mess and me running for my life hoping my plane wouldn’t leave me behind—or it would so I could stay longer, but I knew I couldn’t do that.

Suddenly, as if a direct response to my thoughts, the intercom roared to life: “Passenger Karla Camila Cabello. Your plane has completed boarding. Please proceed to your gate immediately.”

“CRAP! They’re going full name.”

“Again, Passenger Karla Camila Cabello. Your plane has completed boarding. Please proceed to your gate immediately.”

I look up the ceiling looking for a speaker hoping that it would stop calling my name. I kept running with my head looking up. “I got it. I got it. I’m trying. Hold up! Just wait!” I kept hoping that whoever made the announcement would hear my pleas. _Why did my damn gate have to be all the way at the end?_ I thought to myself as I ran past all the other passengers waiting for their own flights. _Lucky bastards! You get to wait while I get to run._

After what felt like 10 miles worth of running, I finally made it to my gate. I was barely able to breathe, but I made it, and I shakily gave my boarding pass to the familiar flight attendant who just shook her head with a knowing smile.

“I hope it was worth it.” She said to me.

“Oh yeah. She’s always worth it.”

I was still struggling to catch my breath when I boarded the plane—dragging my carry on and backpack with me. Every person I passed was either glaring or sighing their relief. It didn’t help that I was sat all the way at the back, so everyone saw who caused the delay—everyone knew who to blame. The number of apologies I muttered before I got to my seat would have been a record even for me, but it was still worth it. They can hate me all they want, but the amount of extra time I got to spend with my little sister, even if it wasn’t a lot, was still precious for me. So, I’m sorry Delta Airlines Flight 902, but I’m not actually that sorry! I was 3 minutes late, and it was 3 minutes I got to enjoy with my little sister. So, you can suck it!

I finally got settled. All the way at the back row, left side, middle seat.

Well, technically, I had the aisle seat, but the old lady sitting next to me assumed it was hers, and I didn’t have the heart to tell her to move. One, because “respect your elders.” Two, because I was late, and I didn’t want to inconvenience her any further. Three, she looked like she might yell at me if I asked her to move, so I did what a conforming person would do—I gave her my seat.

So, I sat in the middle, and as I prepared another apology, bracing myself for another glare, I realized that the person next to me was actually fast asleep.

Her eyes were covered with a black sleeping mask littered with little yellow stars and a crescent moon in the corner, yet I had a feeling her eyes were beautiful—that it could tell me a million stories no words could say. And her nose. I’ve never seen such beautiful nose. Those lips. So pink, soft, and inviting. That jaw line… It’s like it’s been chiseled by the gods... Her hair. So long and lusci…

And fuck I’m staring! What the hell was wrong with me. I basically just objectified this sleeping woman next to me. Well, is it objectification if it’s done with so much admiration? Because damn she’s beautiful. And part of her face was still covered.

After a I decided to try and take a nap as well, so I tried looking for my headphones in my backpack, but lucky me, it wasn’t there. I must have packed it somewhere else, or left it at home, either way, it was going to be an even longer flight.

But then not too long after, when the plane was silent enough, I faintly heard the raven-haired girl’s music coming out of her headphones. _The 1975._ She’s listening to _The 1975. Fallingforyou._ Then I wondered if she was in love. Whoever it was is a lucky bastard.

I closed my eyes and concentrated on the faint music coming from the girl next to me. _Mumford and Sons. After the Storm._ Was she trying to live through a storm? Was she going through something? Regardless. Her music choices were thoughtful—enough to tell stories. 

Then I felt something hit my shoulder. Suddenly, the faint music was a little louder. I opened my eyes and found the girl’s head on my shoulder. I didn’t know what to do. Usually something like that would’ve bothered me, but for some reason, with her it didn’t, but still, I pushed her away because it didn’t feel right. It seemed like I’d be taking advantage of her, so instead, I got my neck pillow, which kind of matched her sleeping mask, and carefully placed it under her head so she could sleep comfortably. Hopefully, that’d help her throughout the flight.

A few hours later, we landed in San Francisco. The girl was still fast asleep, and she managed to cuddle into the neck pillow comfortably. I thought it was crazy that not even a plane landing could wake her, but I guess she really was just that exhausted.

I decided against waking her because she was the only person in the plane that didn’t glare at me, so call me selfish, but I wanted to keep it that way. I left before I could even know her name. Or see her eyes. But I hoped somewhere down the line, I get to see the mysterious raven-haired girl from seat 55A.

* * *

I was outside the airport waiting for a cab when I decided to text my best friend Dinah.

**Camilk 2%:**

Hey Cheech! Landed awhile ago.

Just waiting for a cab now.

I’m on my way to your place. (1:12pm)

**Beyoncé 2.0:**

Good!

Hurry your Cuban ass up Chancho!

We’re starving here (1:15pm)

**Camilk 2%:**

Okay, Dinah…

I’ll just wait for the cab faster. (1:16pm)

**Beyonce 2.0:**

Don’t sass me missy! (1:16pm)

I sent Dinah a text when I spotted a cab make its way to the curb. Finally! I make my towards it, grateful that I no longer had to wait, but I stopped on my tracks when I realized that the cab driver was already loading someone else’s luggage instead of mine.

I was furious. I had been waiting in line for 30 minutes for a cab, and that person had the audacity to just cut in front of me. They were going to get a piece of my mind. I had places to go too! I was about to meet my friends, and I was starving, and he or she wasn’t about to stop me from doing that.

So, I talked to no one in particular hoping whoever owned the silver luggage would hear me.

“Hey! There was line you know. I got here first. So, this is technically my cab. Go wait for your own.”

Then I heard someone speak behind me. A heavenly husky voice so beautiful it gave me goosebumps. I turned around only to find her.

Seat 55A. The raven-haired girl with the perfect bone structure. The mystery woman with great music taste. The woman whose eyes I still couldn’t see thanks to the black sunglasses shielding it.

Damn. Why did it have to be her?

“I’m sorry. You were saying something?” she said as she took off her headphones.

Of course, she was listening to music.

“Ummm. Nooo. I. I was just a-asking him if ummm if there were any uhhh ummm other ones on their way. Cause ummm I’ve been waiting here awhile. Yeah. Yeah. That’s. That’s what I said.”

“Okay. Cool! Have fun waiting.”

“Thanks.”

I gave her a nervous smile, and she returned it with an awkward one. Then she went inside my cab. Well, her cab that I willingly gave up because… because what exactly? Because she was pretty? Because she had good music taste? Because she seemed exhausted? Because I’m a useless lesbian, and I need help?

I sighed. Because I know it’s all of the above. But most of all. I’m a useless lesbian, and I need help.

**Camilk 2%:**

Never mind.

There’s no cab (1:25pm)

I’m still waiting (1:26pm)

**Beyonce 2.0:**

What?

What happened? (1:28pm)

**Camilk 2%:**

Your friend is a useless lesbian that’s what happened! (1:28pm)

**Beyonce 2.0:**

I swear if we starve to death because of your gay ass! (1:29pm)

It took another 15 minutes for a cab to arrive, and another 30 minutes before I got to Dinah’s house. To say I was terrified of knocking on the door would be downplaying it. I knew my friends Dinah, Normani, and Ally would be furious. Ally would be more understanding, but Dinah and Normani—those two would be less forgiving. I hoped once they heard how I embarrassed myself in front of the girl that they’d be satisfied—that their thirst for my blood would be quenched because I didn’t want any more trouble at that point.

I struggled to carry my belongings and walked over the front yard. Hesitantly, I raised my fist to knock on the Hansen family’s front door. Not a second later, I was startled when the door was yanked open, and I was greeted by the 3 scowling faces of my best friends. They stared at me, and I felt smaller under their gaze. I was about to speak, but Dinah beat me to it.

“It’s 2:20pm, and we haven’t eaten because you are a useless lesbian! Explain yourself. And this shit better be good! Get in, Cabello.”

So, I told them everything. (Over lunch of course. They would’ve murdered me if I made them wait any longer.) From the running, to the staring, to the stuttering, ‘til the awkward smile. And like the great best friends they are—they laughed at my misery.

“I can’t believe you eavesdropped on her music,” Normani chimed in.

“I… well. I didn’t have my headphones! What was I supposed to do? Plus, it’s not my fault I could hear her music. She practically had it blasting. I’m surprised she didn’t burst her eardrums from how loud it was.” I tried to reason, but I knew it was futile because my friends only laughed harder.

Then Normani reemphasized her point with a look of teasing disgust on her face. “But still… I mean. You could’ve ignored it, yet you chose to consciously listen and pay attention to what she was listening to. You eavesdropped on a stranger’s music! That’s next level weird, Mila. Even for you.” 

“Yeah!” Dinah added, “… And what’s with the stuttering ‘Miss I Love Literature I Could Marry It!’ You don’t stutter? You’re like the best talker I’ve ever known.”

I rolled my eyes at her. “Speaker.”

“You see!”

I sighed and shook my head. “I don’t even know. I think it was because she caught me off guard. I mean Cheech, I heard the cab driver laugh at me! It was so embarrassing.”

Dinah couldn’t contain the laughter that came out of her, but she abruptly stopped when she saw how embarrassed I looked, so she hugged me to give me some sense of comfort despite the embarrassment I felt. “Aww. I’m sorry Mila, but I mean I would’ve too. You sounded like a mess.”

I had to admit. That wasn’t one of my proudest moments—nothing about my time with the mystery girl was something worth bragging about—I didn’t know what came over me, but it happened. And yes, a huge part of me was embarrassed, but I’d do it all again in a heartbeat if it meant I’d get to see her again.

And that’s when I came to the conclusion. I truly was a useless lesbian.

* * *

After hours of catching up and hanging out, the four of us squeezed in Ally’s tattered yellow car and made our way to Stanford. It’s a beautiful school—aesthetically pleasing—good people—amazing professors—great place to learn—a girl couldn’t ask for more, but sometimes, it does get lonely being there by myself. I talk to a few people here and there, but it’s different—the connection is always different when it’s built over a special bond. It’s different when you have a genuine connection with someone. Stanford is a great school, but it was always missing something.

That’s why it always sucked when I had to say goodbye to my best friends. I always hated the fact that we didn’t go to the same school, but I’m still grateful that I have them in my life, and we always made sure we made time for each other despite our own busy schedules—we needed to because we kept each other sane. They’re the only ones that kept me from going crazy while I was away from home—them and music.

They walked me to my old dorm. The four of us lugged around what stuff I had which received a lot of complaints from Dinah, but I was just grateful I wasn’t doing it alone.

It was already sundown by the time we made it to my room. I opened the familiar dark wooden door, and I was welcomed by the familiar space. Florence Hall. Third floor. Room 327.

It looks exactly as I had left it a month ago. Books on the shelf. Photos and post-it notes on the wall. Fairy wings at the foot of the bed. Glow in the dark stars on the ceiling. Everything was the same—at least everything on my side was.

The right side was yet to be filled. My last roommate transferred back to NYU, so her side was bare. It was depressing to look at, but it wouldn’t be awhile until a get another roommate. I was told I had another semester until she arrived because she was studying abroad. I wondered if we’d get along. She wasn’t even there yet, and I was already worried.

Dinah, Ally, and Normani stayed but not for long because they had their own stuff to tend to the next day. Dinah had the hospital volunteer thing. Ally had the coffee shop. And Normani had… well, she had no choice because Ally was her ride.

And just like that, I was by myself.

I sifted through my stuff and found what I was looking for. My headphones. _Damn you Dr. Dre. Why did you have to hide like that?_ I blasted my music, and just like that—I wasn’t so alone anymore. 

I stared at the pale depressing wall. I sighed. I walked to my desk grabbed a bright blue post-it note and a sharpie. I drew a smiley face and slapped it against the wall. I smiled back at it. _There! You’re not so depressing anymore._

I checked the time, and it was 11:09 pm. CRAP! I was about to miss it. I grabbed my bag and spare blanket. I walked out of my room and ran towards another familiar door and made my way up the stairs and out another door. Up there I was welcomed by the summer breeze made even cooler by the lake on the far right of the building. That wasn’t the time to hang out near the lake though because in my haste to get out of my room, I forgot to bring a jacket. _Stupid._ So, I settled for my next favorite spot. The spot in between the brick wall and the wall with a galaxy mural—the one in front of the jungle of plants.

I laid my blanket on the ground, took out the white chocolate cupcake and small tube of blue frosting from my bag, and got settled. I found myself drawing another happy face but this time it was on top of the cupcake. It was already beautifully decorated, but it was white—the cupcake had to be blue. For the final touch, I poked a small blue candle in the middle. I set it aside. I was ready. I laid down and looked for her.

“Luna! Friend. A pleasure as always. But more importantly what’s up Elle! It’s been a while.”

I smiled at the sight of the moon and the thought of my childhood friend.

“… I know. I know. I’m a horrible friend. But really. If you knew how much work it takes to move back here and deal with all that, you’d understand. Well, you probably do. You’re probably in college, too right? Who the hell am I kidding? Of course, you are. You were the smartest kid I knew. Of course, you’d be in college. Probably like Yale or Harvard or something. I’m guessing law school? Maybe med school? Imagine you’re a heart surgeon? HA! The irony of that. I’m totally ranting…”

Then I remembered the cupcake next to me, so I sat up, lit the candle and held the cupcake between my hands. 

“… Right now. I’m here for something more special than my stupid rants… I’m here because it’s your special day. It’s your 20th birthday, Elle. Oh, how I am glad you were born all those years ago. I wish we never had to part ways. But alas, good things must come to an end, right?”

I stared back up the sky hoping that whatever I said next would somehow find its way to my friend.

“… But Elle, you were still one of the best things that has ever happened to my life. Someday, I hope I find you again. I hope we meet again, so that I get to tell you how much you changed my life. At 7 years old. Yup… 7 years old. God, we were so dramatic back then. Well, I was dramatic. You were smart. My fucking hero. I miss you, Elle. And just like in the last 12 years of my life… I really wish I find you.”

And with that, I blew out the little blue candle.

It was late, and I probably should have gone to bed, but I wanted to enjoy my last night of freedom. I continued to lay there staring at the sky. I watched the stars flicker while the moon illuminated the sky. The night was calm. I wasn’t too bothered by the breeze anymore. I closed my eyes for a moment, and that’s when I heard it. Along with the gentle waves coming from the lake, there was a faint sound of a voice speaking.

So, I got up to look for the source of the sound. As I walked towards the side of the lake, the voice got louder and louder, and when I finally got around the partition blocking my view—I found her. I found a silhouette of a girl sitting on the ledge of the rooftop. I didn’t want to just approach the girl scared that I might scare her off the ledge. But at the same time, I was curious, so I kept walking closer.

It was dark out, but the moonlight was making the girl standout from the darkness. It was as if she was glowing. I could see her long hair cascade down her back as part of it was blown by the summer breeze. The girl looked magical, and I couldn’t even see her face. 

_That’s probably the most beautiful silhouette I’ve ever seen._ I said to myself.

I was scared to come closer, but I wanted to see her. I gravitated towards her. I didn’t want to disrupt whatever the girl was doing because clearly, she was up the rooftop for some peace and quiet, but I couldn’t help myself.

_“What are you doing here?”_

I thought to myself. Except I didn’t thought it to myself—I said it out loud—loud enough for her to hear me. I wanted to run and hide, but she turned around to see where the question came from, and as soon as I saw her face, my eyes widened. Luckily, the girl saw none of that, but she did hear how I became an awkward stuttering mess. The girl was more beautiful than I expected. Her features were softened by the moonlight, but her beauty was still evident despite the night.

“Wow. Did I really just say that… Like I owned the place… I mean… Hi… I’m sorry… I’m just gonna…”

I turned around to leave only to turn back again once I realized the girl looked familiar. It’s her! It’s the raven-haired girl from the plane. Seat 55A. The girl who took my cab.

My heart started pounding, and the shock on my face must have been evident because the girl looked confused. She must have felt uncomfortable given I was gaping at her like a fool. I was shaken out of my reverie when I noticed that she started getting off the ledge and slowly gathered her stuff to leave.

“No! Stop! You don’t have to go.”

The girl looked over her shoulder with a disgruntled look on her face.

“It’s fine. It’s late, and the place just started to feel crowded.”

 _Ouch_. I had no response. That kind of hurt. I didn’t know who she was, but somehow, she managed to have an affect me.

She left. But I still couldn’t look away. My gaze followed her silhouette until she made it out the door. And even as I heard the door click shut, despite what just happened, I still couldn’t help but wonder…

_Who is she? Who is this girl? And what is she doing to me?_


End file.
